So, I had a melt down on Facebook last week. It was stock filled with anger and cursing. I have since removed the post, made an apology for the language but not the sentiment, and taken an official break from the forum until I don't know when.
What prompted the outburst? To be honest, it was multiple things.
My husband's heath is deteriorating, though he has not been in too much pain this past week.
I am exhausted and unsure of what my next "right" step is.
People who call themselves friends are like the wind; wanting to be chatty one day and resorting to one word responses, if any, the next.
There are people who whine about their lot in life; that is not what I am doing, but rather lamenting how their whining affects me. People who are afraid of being forgotten at the holidays, while their cancer patient relative sits, wondering "where is everyone?" Worrying about being forgotten while all the while forgetting about someone who has done no wrong nor harm to them.
Things will never be the same. I might forgive, though, at this writing, it is unlikely, and I will never forget that not one of you picked up the phone to call him and wish him well; to chat with him; to ask him if there was anything you could do for him.
Thinking of the unfairness of it all just caused me to vomit up every bit of anger and vitriol and blurt out the truth, but in such a tacky way.
I hang my head, ashamed, yet consider those people who reached out to me, knowing that something had upset me to this degree. These people are my heroes. They may not be my blood, but they are my family.
You know who you are. You have given me strength and a little more courage. I can never thank you enough for your caring of me and of my husband.
