My husband is a stage 4 cancer patient. He is doing very well, thank G-D, and I think people tend to forget how sick he really is. I am guilty of this from time to time as I add to his "Honey Do" list.
Now, the folks who need to read this message will not see it, I am sure. Therefore, this is strictly a vent on my part and not a passive-aggressive move to get a message across.
To those people: I would like to say please do not call my husband to tell him all of your problems. Yes, he was trained as a clinical psychologist and he has the resources to help and guide. But, today, he is fighting for his life. Don't tell him how miserable you are, how bad your life is, how you would kill yourself if you could; don't ask him if you could move in with us so he could take care of you (Truth!!!) (Besides, I am his wife and I am a part of the equation; most definitely you can not move in with us!!!). When he tells you about his fight for life in the past year, do not hang up the telephone on him because he is not coddling you.
He doesn't want to hear how great you think Trump is and has told you this, but you persist. He is not into bragging about his family so stop asking him questions about them and their successes. He is much too wise to play that game.
Because he looks well and because the perennial smile remains on his face, it is easy to forget he is sick.
Instead, ask what you can do for him. Or just be a friend and talk of pleasant things. Maybe send him a thinking of you card; call him; send him some funny jokes via email. Let him see you from time to time if he is up to it.
MHN has some wonderful friends whom he considers to be his family. When things looked very dire last year, I had to make funeral pre-arrangements and we wrote his obituary. He named some friends by name as "sisters/brothers from another mother". They call, they talk, they make him laugh, they encourage him. You know who you are and may G-d bless you!!
There are four people who need to see this message, but they will not. I may delete this at some point, but right now, I feel better for having vented. That's all. Thanks for listening.
